▶ Repairs & Rescues
Slow laptops, mystery pop-ups, hard drives that click like a clock. Mark takes computers in scared and sends them home fast — and explains what happened in plain English.
▶ Roster Card — Tonight's Starter
STARTERNo. 95
Mark Parsons
Computer Technician
- Born in
- Burlington, ON
- Plays in
- Brantford, ON
- League
- Ubuntu
- Former club
- Gentoo
READY TO HELP◄ BURLINGTON
▶ Stat Sheet — Season 2026
POSITIONComputer Technician
BORN INBurlington, ON
PLAYS INBrantford, ON
STARTING OSUbuntu
RETIRED JERSEYGentoo
SQUADNephews · Roblox · Minecraft
▶ Tonight's Highlight Reel
▶ Game Night
Off the clock, Mark plays Roblox and Minecraft with his nephews. He builds the base, defends the base, and loses every rematch with full sportsmanship.
▶ The OS Years
He ran Gentoo for years, which means he fixed his own mistakes at 2 a.m. Now he runs Ubuntu and spends the saved time on people, not package managers.
▶ Why does this page keep changing?
This site is a live demonstration of how far AI has come. A model rebuilds the whole page every day — new look, new words, same technician. The why page explains the project.
▶ Need a tech guy on your team?
Broken computer? Laptop crawling? Not sure what to buy? Email Mark — he explains things without making you feel silly for asking.