**** PARSONS TECH SYSTEMS BASIC V2 ****
 64K RAM SYSTEM  38911 BASIC BYTES FREE
 LOCATION: BRANTFORD, ONTARIO
 HOSTED IN: KANSAS CITY, MO
READY.
Mark Parsons
The Repair Champion
Your Laptop
Slow / Loud / Sad

Round 1 — Who's this guy

Hi. I'm Mark. I fix computers in Brantford, Ontario. Yes, actual computers — the beige box under your desk that hasn't been dusted since the Harper government, and the laptop that "started making that noise."

I've been elbow-deep in machines since before you could stream a cat video without waiting a full minute for it to buffer. Shocking, I know.

Round 2 — What I do (please act surprised)

  • Virus removal, because that "free antivirus" you installed was, in fact, the virus. Bold twist.
  • Hardware upgrades. RAM, SSDs, GPUs — the good stuff that makes your machine feel less like it's running through wet cement.
  • Data recovery. You should back up your files. You won't. That's fine. I'll be here.
  • Custom builds. Tell me your budget and what you play. I promise not to judge you for still running Skyrim.
  • Patient, plain-English tech help for folks who'd rather not feel talked-down-to at the big box store.

Round 3 — My rig (since you asked)

You didn't ask. But here it is anyway, because a tech guy who won't tell you his specs isn't a tech guy.

$ neofetch OS.......: Windows 11 (with the sensible bits turned off) CPU......: AMD Ryzen 9 5900X RAM......: 64 GB GPU......: AMD Radeon RX 6650 XT KEYBOARD.: Loud on purpose COFFEE...: Present

Is it overkill for opening 47 browser tabs? Absolutely. Is that going to stop me? Absolutely not.

Round 4 — Certified opinions

  • Chrono Trigger is better than Final Fantasy. All of them. I'll die on this hill. Bring snacks.
  • My mom's home-cooked meals beat any restaurant in the city. This is scientific.
  • Yes, I went to Pauline Johnson High School here in Brantford. No, I don't miss the cafeteria.
  • Turning it off and on again works about 80% of the time. The other 20% is where I come in.

Wait — why does this page look different every day?

Because it's regenerated daily by an AI model as a little experiment. Some days it's slick. Some days it's this. Read the whole story:

▶ Read: Why this site exists

Fight! — Get in touch

Broken thing? Slow thing? Weird thing? Send me an email and I'll take a look. I don't bite, and I don't upsell you a printer.