Your computer's broken. That's my job
Mark Parsons fixes computers. He's been doing it for longer than most people who complain about Wi-Fi have been alive. He's based in Brantford, Ontario, and he is genuinely good at this.
Computer stuff. Done right.
Not all of it, obviously. I can't fix your printer. Nobody can. But here's the actual stuff I handle:
Hardware Repair
Replacing parts, diagnosing failures, and performing surgery on machines that other technicians have already given up on. Yes, including the ones you "just turned off and on again."
System Setup
Building new systems, configuring networks, setting up email — the boring-but-important work that keeps people from calling their neighbours' kids who are "really good with tech."
Security & Recovery
Virus removal, data backup strategies, and the kind of advice you only get after spending two decades watching every variation of digital disaster.
Some things you probably don't need to know (but will anyway)
Here's the thing about Mark — he's been online practically since the internet was a thing that existed. That means his opinions on modern social media are not favourable. You've been warned.
⚡ Online since '95
Mark has been active on EFNet IRC almost every single day since 1995. That's nearly thirty years of hanging out in text-based chat rooms. This is either deeply impressive or deeply concerning. We'll let you decide.
🍲 Food preferences
Homemade pizza is his favourite food. He'll defend this choice in any conversation. Beyond pizza, Mark genuinely loves his mother's home-cooked meals. Some things never get old — especially good food.
🏂 Games he actually enjoys
Mark loves board and card games. Skip-Bo and cribbage are his personal favourites. If you want to see him genuinely competitive, challenge him at cribbage and watch the light change in his eyes.
🔴 Social media stance
He dislikes Facebook and Twitter. Not mildly. Not "I prefer something else" mildly. If you need help setting up either of those platforms, Mark will point you in the direction of someone else. And you should respect that.
Things related to this site
Why does this site exist?
Mark's homepage is generated by AI — every single day it changes. This page explains why, who Mark really is, and what's actually going on behind the scenes.
→ Read the explanationHistory archive
A complete history of every version of this site ever generated. Watch the AI get weird over time.
→ View the archiveYour computer called. It needs you to call Mark.
If your machine is making a noise it shouldn't be, running slower than a dial-up connection from 1998, or generally behaving like it has a personality disorder — email Mark.
✉ mrparsons@gmail.comHe usually replies faster than your computer boots up. Probably.