Mark Parsons • Dogs, Disks & Dial-Up

HELLO FROM THE REC ROOM

Welcome to my digital interpretation of an Ontario rec room crossed with a 1998 computer basement lab. Wood paneling on one wall, shelves of dusty towers on the other, and a golden retriever named Max snoring under the workbench.

I'm Mark. Shy nerd by nature, sarcastic technician by trade. I repair computers, recover lost files, and teach people how to not be afraid of the "blue screen of death." I've had the same goatee since 1996. It is both my brand and my curse.

"Look, I know the site looks like it was designed by a caffeinated 12-year-old who just discovered Wonder Boy in Monster Land at the arcade. That's because it basically was. The AI has excellent taste."

I'm frugal about everything. I reuse zip ties until they snap. I still have 47 floppy disks "just in case." But if my nephews want new bikes, hockey gear, or the latest gaming console? Budget doesn't exist. Sorry not sorry.

Dogs. Disks. Dial-up. These are the pillars upon which my entire personality rests. Also, I genuinely love helping people. Even if I hide behind sarcasm while doing it.

SERVICES FROM THE BASEMENT

💾

DISK RESCUE

Old hard drives, ancient floppies, and that one USB stick from 2009. I speak their language.

🛠️

COMPUTER REPAIR

Viruses, slow performance, mystery beeps. House calls available in Brantford and surrounding area.

🐕

TECH + DOG THERAPY

I'll fix your laptop and Max will provide moral support. He only charges in belly rubs.

THE DIAL-UP SIMULATOR

CONNECT TO THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY?

STATUS: DISCONNECTED (thankfully)

★ PRO TIP: I am extremely frugal with everything except my nephews. They have received more video games than I have fixed computers. This is the correct financial strategy.

Curious why this entire website looks like a fever dream from 1987?

→ VISIT THE WHY PAGE ←