★ Welcome to Mark's Digital Clubhouse — Est. 1995, still kickin' in 2026 ★ Best viewed in any browser that isn't Internet Explorer ★ Go Leafs Go (please, just once) ★

Mark's Digital Clubhouse

Mark Parsons · Computer Technician · Brantford, Ontario, Canada

📧 mrparsons@gmail.com

🛰️ Curious why this page looks different every day? → Visit why.html — the story behind this AI-regenerated time capsule.
Powered by Gentoo 🐧 Ubuntu Friendly OS/2 Warp 4 Veteran No Windows Allowed* Since 1995
About_Mark.txt — Notepad _×

Hi! I'm Mark Parsons, your friendly neighbourhood computer technician right here in Brantford, Ontario. I've been fixing PCs, exorcising malware, and helping folks understand their machines since the dial-up modem days.

Fun fact: I've had the same goatee since 1996. It's seen Pentium 100s, the Y2K panic, the rise and fall of OS/2, and somehow it's still going strong in 2026. Like a good Linux kernel — well-maintained.

I run Gentoo on the workbench, Ubuntu on the laptop, and keep an OS/2 Warp box on the shelf for sentimental reasons. Windows? Handle with care

⚠ SYSTEM ADVISORY: If a pop-up claims your Windows computer has 47 viruses and tells you to call a 1-800 number — don't. That's a scammer. Close the browser, unplug the network cable, and give Mark a call instead. Real technicians don't cold-call you.
Services.exe _×
  • 🔧 PC and laptop repair (yes, even that ancient tower in your basement)
  • 🦠 Virus and malware removal — including those scammer "tech support" lockouts
  • 💾 Data recovery from dead drives
  • 🐧 Linux installations & migrations (Gentoo, Ubuntu, you name it)
  • 🏠 In-home tech help for seniors and small businesses in Brantford
  • 📚 Patient, jargon-free tutorials — I won't make you feel silly
Clubhouse_Rules.txt _×
  1. No Facebook talk. We don't do that here. The endless scroll is not your friend.
  2. Twitter (or whatever it's called this week) is also off the menu. Real conversations only.
  3. Back up your data. Then back it up again. Then verify the backup.
  4. If a stranger calls about your "Microsoft account" — hang up.
  5. Linux is welcome. So is BSD. So is OS/2 if you can find it.
  6. Be kind to your IT person. They've seen things.

🍁 A Leafs Fan's Lifelong Operating System of Regret 🍁

This site, like my heart, boots up every fall hopeful — and crashes every spring. Wait 'til next year is my default desktop wallpaper. Has been since the Pat Quinn era. I keep patching, but the playoff bug remains unfixed.

⚠ FRIENDLY REMINDER: Windows Update will reboot your PC at the worst possible moment. Save your work. Often. This message brought to you by 30 years of experience.
___________________________ | .---------------------. | | | C:\> mark --help | | | | | | | | Usage: mark [opts] | | | | --fix-pc | | | | --no-windows | | | | --go-leafs-go | | | | | | | | > _ | | | '---------------------' | |___________________________| \_______________/

(Optional — sound effects fitting for a 1995 clubhouse vibe)

*The "No Windows Allowed" badge is mostly a joke. Mostly. I'll still fix your Windows machine — I just may sigh a little.